Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Jennifer Hoffman: The Energy of Give and Take
Good news for this week, as both Mercury and Neptune move from retrograde to direct motion, and we end the week with some powerful aspects that include a Venus/Pluto conjunction and a full moon. Many things that have felt confused and uncertain since June (Neptune retro) or stuck, with pesky mishaps and things that would somehow not work (Mercry retro) since early October can be cleared up now. Mercury is covering ground that it went over since October 1 so you may feel like you are in a time warp, repeating episodes from early last month. It's just a replay opportunity to do things differently this time around, or to reconsider what happened then and see if we're still aligned with it.
Just a heads up too, we have had very powerful solar flares for the past two weeks, including some of the strongest ever measure (literally, off the charts). So if you have been feeling anxious, confused, out of sorts and off balance, that could be why. These strong solar flares send lots of radiation to the earth, which is helping us as we transition to higher frequencies but they are a little hard on us physically, so get plenty of rest, drink lots of water, and pay attention to what your body may be telling you it needs.
Is all of the recent activity changing your connections and relationships? I would be surprised if you told me that it wasn't. The energy around our relationships is changing because our energy is changing, and we're becoming aware of where our energy flows out, as well as what comes back to us. As we become more attuned to our needs and aware of what we are doing with our energy, we are seeing where we give and receive and how those in- and out-flows work. The ones that are not balanced will become more frustrating and we'll start looking at where we can make changes. That's the topic of this week's message.
The Energy of Give and Take
I notice trends in the kinds of issues that I help everyone with, my clients, facebook friends, radio show callers and others in my life. Lately one big issue has stood out is the imbalances in energy flows in relationships, which we know as giving and receiving. That is what everyone does in a relationship, they give to others and receive from them.
But that isn’t always what happens. Someone often gives more and sometimes, one person takes and gives nothing back. How do we differentiate between receiving and taking, when do we know it’s time to stop giving and how do we receive from others are all part of the new relationship dynamics now.
The flow of energy in any relationship must be balanced. That doesn’t mean that everyone gives the same amount all of the time, it means that there is a balance in the energy flow so that everyone feels that their inflows and outflows are equivalent (notice I didn’t use the word ‘equal’). No one feels taken advantage of, or that they are giving more than they should or want to, everyone participates and they feel that there is energy sharing going on.
I use the term ‘equivalent’ and not equal because in any relationship, we will give more in those areas where we are more talented or feel stronger. For example, the person who is a good cook will probably do more cooking if the other partner doesn’t cook at all. Or the one who enjoys yard work may do most of the gardening. The one who is the bigger ‘neat freak’ may do more housecleaning if the other person is not as tidy. But when we give to someone who is a ‘taker’ and not a receiver is where we run into problems.
A receiver is someone who is able to return equivalent amounts of energy to the giver so the energy flow is balanced. A taker is someone who does not return any energy to the giver for several reasons — they cannot, don’t want to, don’t believe they can, or don’t know how (it’s usually a combination of these reasons). When confronted with a taker, our first reaction is to give more and more to them until they finally give energy back to us. But that will not happen, and they will continue to take energy until we, in frustration, stop giving. Then they will find another giver. You can’t turn a taker into a receiver, that’s a choice they must make for themselves and it involves a profound transformation that can only be done by a higher power than you.
The problem is not only with the taker, who is limited by beliefs that there is not enough, they are not enough, they don’t have any power, and their issues around self worth, value, and worthiness. The giver often chooses a taker to give to because the giver has issues with receiving, they do not believe in the full value of what they give, and they also have worthiness issues. While they may describe the taker as a vacuum cleaner that sucks up everything, think of what a vacuum cleaner spits out, dust and dirt. Takers do not give back because they do not think they have anything to give, they’re sad, unfulfilled, and they feel inferior although they probably love all of the energy you give and they gladly take from you.
There are two steps to having relationships that are energetically balanced, with equivalent (not necessarily equal) inflows and outflows. The first is to cultivate your own ability to receive. Whether you are a giver or a taker, it is the ability to receive (instead of over giving or taking) that creates the energy imbalances in your relationships. The second step is to cultivate your self worth and deserving.
It is your issues around worthiness and value that prevent you from being a receiver and to constantly give to others that creates the imbalances. And there are power issues at work here too because the person who insists on always being the giver is the one who controls the amount, timing, flow, and direction of the energy in a relationships. Now there’s something to ponder as you consider allowing yourself to receive as well as give, choose partners who can give to you, and learn to enjoy the balance of sharing, partnership, and balanced energy in all of your relationships.
Finally, give with an open heart and without expectations, but balance your giving with a willingness to receive and you will ensure that you are fulfilled and filled full too.
Copyright (c) 2013 by Jennifer Hoffman. All rights reserved. You may quote, translate, reprint or refer to this message if you mention the author name and include a working link to http://enlighteninglife.com